There’s a particular kind of strength that doesn’t announce itself. It doesn’t look like going it alone or having all the answers. It simply looks like showing up for the people around you: your kids, your friends, even for a stranger. And in a world that continues to encourage distance and separation, it looks like coming together and staying close.
After reading an Instagram post she made a couple months ago, I knew Cassidy Eisenfeld was someone who could speak beautifully to this. And as one of the inspiring women in our Iksplor community, we thought highlighting her and sharing more of her thoughts on the strength of women would be the perfect way to wrap up this month. #InternationalWomen’sMonth!
Mom of four and babywearing educator extraordinaire, Cassidy loves getting outside with her kids!
“I spent a huge portion of my teenage years and early adult life in child care and always had a love for exploration…That is something that I love to instill in my kids. Just a desire to learn, push the boundaries, and experience the amazing parts of life.”
Cassidy channels much of this explorer energy through her work in the babywearing community: namely educating moms on evidence-based babywearing, and encouraging families to get outdoors.
Of said community she speaks of support, nurturing and connectedness. “It’s overall an incredibly supportive group of people that underneath it all are there because of the love we have for our babies and kids. People come from all different walks of life. They have different views on parenting, live in different places in the world, and yet all desire closeness and connection with their little ones.”
And in the above mentioned instagram post she said, “This community reminds me that caring for the young has never been about where someone is from. It has always been about who we are willing to show up for.”
Becoming a mom and being part of such a supportive group of women has really shaped the way Cassidy views womanhood. It wasn’t so simple growing up.
“I had a bit of a negative idea of what it was to be a woman…I had a lot of very loud voices in my life telling me that women were inherently weak and submissive beings which I really struggled with. For the longest time, I pushed away anything I viewed as feminine or soft and saw being a woman as inherently weaker.
“I was constantly forcing myself to be the ‘strong’ version of myself that I thought I had to be instead of just giving in to the strength that I already had.”
Despite these loud voices, Cassidy also had other examples to look up to. She shares the stories of her grandmothers:
“My grandma was born in Italy - living through world war II and then had her first two children there. She had always dreamed of a better life in the US, believing that it was all what she saw on TV. She thought it was the idyllic, family-centered, everyone-does-well-financially type of life. She was a bit shocked when she instead found herself in a trailer home park and proceeded to have two more kids. Growing up, I had a really idealized version of her and later learned that she had a lot of incredible challenges and hardships to maneuver through her life. She would stay with us for up to 6 months at a time and then go back home to Indiana for a couple years before we saw her again.
She always had a very strong personality and being strongly Italian was very important to her. She never learned how to write in English and I think that was partially intentional. She maintained a very thick Italian accent her entire life even though she ended up being in the US for over 40 years. She loved standing out and making friends with everyone she saw…
Through all of her struggles she was 100% authentically herself. That is probably the thing that I have struggled with the most and something that I have really learned to find strength in.
My other grandma died too young- in her early 50s, when I was around 8 or 9 years old. She was the one that I saw most often and was a huge influence in my life. She loved the color yellow because it was bright and sunny. She so often showed me a very positive and sunny side of life even when it was incredibly hard. I think that has been one of the big motivators in my life. No matter how hard things get, I try to see the sunshine.”
Two different women.
Two different personalities and life experiences.
Two beautifully powerful examples of strength and what is wonderful about womanhood.
Womanhood is dynamic. Soft, forceful, nurturing, empowering. It encompasses all of it.
Cassidy sums it up best: “We can rock an 8 mile hike in a tutu dress if we want to. We can be a mother and nurturing and gentle and loving and also carry 70 pounds up a thousand foot elevation gain. We can take care of the home, cook, bake, wear dresses, etc. and still be incredibly strong in all of that.”
And while we each have our unique strengths and gifts to offer as individuals, there is something to be said about the superpowers of community and connection.
At a particularly low point for her, Cassidy shared an experience where another mom just showed up, refusing any payment, and offered care and support to help her get on top of things. “It was such a pivotal moment for me and honestly really helped me to turn around and feel cared for and supported in a way that I had been too ashamed to allow for in the past.” It was in this experience that she realized the true power and strength women have in their ability to show up for people. “I always thought that strength was independence, but in that moment I realized that reaching out for help and someone stepping up and doing so, was the biggest strength we have as people.”
So, as we close out International Women’s Month, let’s not only remember our individual gifts and strengths but the power we have in connection and showing up: for ourselves (especially out in nature), our children, and each other.
I asked Cassidy if there was anything else she’d like to share with our community of women.
“I’d just say that getting outside with your kids, even when it’s messy or imperfect, is something you’re allowed to take up space in. You don’t have to wait until it feels easy or until you feel fully confident. You’re allowed to learn as you go. You’re allowed to bring your kids along for the process. And you’re allowed to build a version of motherhood that includes fresh air, movement, connection, and a lot of grace for yourself along the way.”
Let’s do it!!
To find out more about Cassidy and her involvement in the nurturing and babywearing community, follow her on Instagram: @letstalkbabywearing